If wishes were fishes.

Today has been a rough one. My usually mellow baby is currently in his crib screaming his head off as he tries to fall asleep. I haven't had a good night's sleep in days and it's making me wonky, crabby, and quick tempered. So here are a few wishes for the day:

1. I wish I drank wine. I'm OK with the fact that I don't, but something tells me a nice glass of wine would take the edge off things.

2. I wish I could go running right now (It's raining and I've got the little one).

3. I wish a lack of sleep made me witty instead of just crabby and fuzzy headed. Some stupid driver cut me off as I was driving and it took me so long to figure out how to flip him off that he was long gone and it just looked like some elaborate sign to the next few cars in line (I've just given up on the finger - it just doesn't work for me).

4.I wish farts smelled like citrus. Wouldn't that make the world a better place?

5. I wish real live gangs would dance-fight like in the movies.

6. I wish pine trees grew bananas.

7. I wish my family lived out east.

8. I wish I was a heavy sleeper.

9. I wish I had a genie who could produce gourmet dark chocolate on request, was a fantastic editor (Jeff's a really good editor it's just hard to get in the mood when your spouse just criticized your sentence structure), and an even better personal shopper.

10. Finally, I wish I was paid large sums of money every time I said something funny, I could give bad drivers rashes with the power of my mind, Dancing With the Stars was banned from TV and every time Randy Jackson said "Dawg" that a needy child got new shoes.