Public Service post

Everyone should experience this commercial.

Now, everyone who went to BYU or has heard of BYU or likes to laugh should see this very good parody.

I know. You're welcome.

Our grand day out

Bean and I went on a little Mommy-son date of sorts a few days ago. It all started when I saw this:

...in the window of Johnny's Luncheonette in town as I finished my morning run. This is no happenstance, I've been checking that window nearly every day since we moved here. I do believe that's the first time some combination of W and Z weren't up there (Wynona Zoolander, you've won free lunch again!!).

On our way to lunch, I notice that the ladder truck was outside the fire station next door and we went down to peek on it. A friendly fireman named Eric promptly came out and showed us around. I thought that Bean would be all over those fire trucks like white on rice, but he was a little intimidated to see them up close. So he had his first tour of the fire station from Mama's arms.

After our tour, we had lunch. Bean's favorite things were the milk cup with the straw, the stone dog behind our booth, and the pickle that came with my delicious meal.

We followed up the festivities with a visit to our friend's house where Bean had a blast in their kid heaven, I mean playroom. Add in the fact that is was almost 50 degrees that day and it was practically perfect!

New Music Tuesday

I am guessing I'm a little late on the bandwagon, but I discovered Gotye last week and I've been obsessed with the song "Somebody I Used to Know" (though until this morning I couldn't remember the title). I really like the open, sincere and strident tone of his voice. Warning. There is some naked man-hip in this video... and lady-back. My apologies if you've been scandalized.

The other side of pain

I don't really know how to start this post, except to say that what ever it is we have to learn, I think it's already inside us. I think God puts the answers to our problems in our hearts and it is our job to open the doors, windows and drawers to discover what is waiting there.

Everybody feels pain, I'm not special in that sense, except that I am the only one who can feel mine. Physical, emotional, spiritual pain, it all brings us to our knees and threatens to break our bond with God by the sheer isolation of feeling pain alone. But I'm not writing this to write about pain. I'm writing this because the view from the other side is so beautiful. I have found that after the initial shock of pain, if I can push back, even softly and gently, pain starts to move a little. I can't think of any beautiful metaphors for it, so I won't try. But if I can lean into the pain, instead of hiding from it and let it wash over me, eventually I come out on the other side of it. I find I can see more clearly and that I'm stronger for not having hidden. Like it or not, pain comes for us all at different times in our lives. But it's destructive power comes from the same place as it's healing, beautifying power; from within the heart. This post is a reminder to my past, present and future self that pain is less of a brick wall than an ocean wave. Well, I came up with a metaphor after all.

January snow

The Bean got his first sled last year around Christmas time from our landlady, Blanche (Bean calls her "Anche"). Last weekend we finally (the word finally is a total joke, I have been loving every day without snow. I guess I need to invest in some cross country skis again. Because snow does NOT make running more fun) got the chance to use it. The little man took to the snow like a fish to water. It made me hate winter 5% less.

It was actually pretty fun pulling him around on that little sled, we just got into trouble when he wanted me to ride with him. Mama's butt and that sled were not meant to be together. Needless to say it was an awkward ride down the hill.

*No, Jeff hasn't taken a second job as a crossing guard, he is about to leave for a run.

Forgiveness

Lately, I've been learning a lot about forgiveness. I would say it's on my mind a lot. I don't think I've ever understood truly what forgiveness was as much as I do now, and I know there is more to learn. Along with learning what forgiveness is I've had to learn what forgiveness is not. I have to thank a good friend who knows a lot more than me about these things for helping me with both parts of that equation. I've also learned a great deal from a great book I've been reading. I found this summary of some things that are often mistaken for forgiveness that I found especially helpful:

"You do not have to forget after you forgive; you may, but your forgiving can be sincere even if you remember.

You do not excuse people by forgiving them; you forgive them at all only because you hold them to account and refuse to excuse them.

You do not forgive people by smothering conflict; if you forever smother people's differences, you rob them of a chance to forgive. [and I would add, to be forgiven]

You do not forgive people merely by accepting them; you forgive people who have done something to you that is unacceptable.

You do not have to tolerate what people do when you forgive them for doing it; you may forgive people, but still refuse to tolerate what they have done. [or what they are doing]"

- pg. 49 Forgive and Forget; Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve by Lewis Smedes

I will probably post more about what forgiveness is in later posts, but what I've learned so far can be summed up in a few bullet points:

-Forgiveness is a process. Part of that process is allowing myself to feel the full weight of the pain inflicted on me by the person I seek to forgive.

-I can't impose a timeline on forgiveness.

-Forgiveness is for the forgiver first and the perpetrator second.

-I can forgive even if I don't want to re-establish contact with that person.

-God loves me, He is patient with me.

-Being hurt is terrible and inexcusable. But I can learn and grow from my pain and become a better, wiser person because of it.

-Forgiving doesn't mean I'm a doormat. Being a doormat doesn't mean I have forgiven.

-Forgiveness, real forgiveness, feels like the warmth of the sun on your heart.

So there it is. If you made it this far, if you read that whole thing, congratulations! If you were here I'd give you a cookie. And I'd even make it gluten free/vegan/lactose free if you asked me to. You're welcome.

Inspiration for the Bean

Yeah, my son totally sounds like this:

OK, so maybe not, but he was tearin' it up on the harmonica this morning. We watched this video and Bean was captivated. He clapped after it was over.

Bean has also has been working on his vocabulary. Here he is saying "dain" which is, of course "train".

I realized a few days ago that all that gibberish he's been saying is actually about 50-60% real words. It's like living with someone with a really thick accent that is trying to speak English.

For example: "Mamawasat?" means "Mama, what's that?" and "ooooohhhh, zabahebaduck!" means, "oooooh "That's a, help me see (lift me up) the truck!!". It's definitely a work in progress. Sometimes I feel like I get it, but sometimes he gets the polite "oh" in a sing-songy voice, because I have no idea what he's talking about. (Don't worry, if you've gotten that same response, it means totally the same thing). I don't know if he knows he's doing it, but sometimes when I'm talking to him, Bean will give a sing songy "oooh " in response. Love it.

Bean still maintains that he needs a working mess before he can begin any literary pursuits. I feel the same way.

Speaking of literary pursuits, we recently discovered a really funny, very silly book at the library called A Near Thing for Captain Najork. It reminded me of the silly sense of humor that runs in my family.

I believe the illustrator is the same man who did a lot of Roald Dahl's books. Man, I can't wait until my little guy is old enough to discover Roald Dahl!