Tonight's gonna be a good, good night?

I don't really get into football. I don't know much about the halftime shows either. I know about the "wardrobe malfunction" and that the Who embarrassed themselves with their ancient rocker selves but this was the first time I saw the half time show myself. It. Was. Terrible. As the Black Eyed Peas descended on to the stage among the minions of dancers, I put together this list of things I noticed about 10 minutes of my life that I will never get back again:

1. Starchild from KISS called. He wants his wardrobe back.

2. Will.i.am's completely-auto-tuned voice was the only thing really in tune.
3. I liked Fergie better when her mike was off.
4. Usher is almost as bad live as the Black Eyed Peas. But at least he can do the splits.

5. The dancer's costumes looked better in TRON.
6. Slash has still got it, but he shouldn't use his powers for evil. Or mediocre.

7. I love the song "Sweet Child of Mine" but that song's soul dies a little each time it is played in some trying-to-be-epic-arena-fanfare-medley-from-hell.
8. It is never cool to have your dancers wear boxes on their heads like that home-made robot costume that you made in 2nd grade.
9.The whole performance reminded me of a high school talent show just with a lot more money spent on staging and costumes.

10. As the blogger from Yahoo Music said so aptly: "Come back AARP rockers. All is forgiven"