As I pulled in to my street on my way home from work, I caught the eye of a woman with curly red hair standing on the side of the road. I continued to my driveway and backed in to the garage that is behind my apartment. I get out of the car and the woman is standing right there, behind my house. Hmmm. She looked about my age, was wearing a tank top and one of those layered skirts that only certain people can pull off.
"Excuse me, that guy down at the corner was staring at me and it made me nervous"
Okaaaayyy, I thought as I stood there totally confused as to why she was telling me this, why she'd wandered into my backyard at all and what I was supposed to do at that point.

"Can you give me a ride to Walgreens?"
Walgreens? Now, Walgreens is about 5-6 blocks away, and I don't really ever give strangers rides, but I am trying to be a good person. I wasn't really sure why she needed such a short ride, but I had my keys in my hand and I was standing next to my car, I wasn't really sure what to do. As long as it doesn't involve the direct acquisition of drugs, or me giving away money so that someone can then access said drugs, I try to help. In my head I'm evaluating all this and she interrupts my thoughts with:
"I just need to return a few things" and then with her voice wavering (since I hadn't said no yet), "Please? I really need to get some things and return some things...please?"
I don't know what came over me, but the thought that she was about my size and I could take her if things got dicey convinced me that I could do this small good deed for my fellow woman.
"OK, I'll take you" I said.
Suddenly, inside my car with her seat belt fastened, the waver in her voice was gone and my traveling companion became a Chatty Kathy. Her name is Michelle and she doesn't go to work or school and isn't that crazy? Nice. She lives in Allen Park, that shady, slightly mysterious group of apartments deep in a grove of trees on 13th East that I thought perhaps was a bird sanctuary and was secretly hoping was Hobbitville. My side of the conversation was a bit awkward, but luckily we only had to go about 5 blocks. I stop in front of Walgreens to let her out and she turns to me and says;
"Aren't you going to wait for me?"
What I should have said is, "No, I'm not going to wait for you as you browse the aisles of our local drugstore because I think you just asked me for a ride because you are bored, and what were you waiting for on the side of the road anyway?", but what I really said is;
"No, I'm pretty busy"
A pouty look came over her face and she said she'd only be five minutes. When I still refused, she started to claw at the door with what I then noticed were inch long Lee-Press-On nails and said;
"Well, can I have two dollars to get an ice cream?"
WHAT? First off, you aren't five, you aren't my child, and what kind of ice cream are you getting for two dollars? Hagen Daas?
And with that she finally negotiated the door with those monstrous nails and was out of the car, slamming the door and flouncing her way into Walgreens.
You're welcome?


Joel said…
Yesterday Katie was driving through our old neighborhood and some guy started talking to her despite her window being rolled up. She rolled it down, and he asked her if she needed help finding someone. She said no, she was just driving around because we used to live in the neighborhood. Then he asked her to drive him to our old place! Fortunately, he got distracted, so she took off.
Petersen's said…
how annoying! I am never nice anymore bc it always turns out that way! lol
E and K said…
no way. hilarious. is she for real?!
katherine said…
i am not sure how to react. that's weird, that's funny, that's just so strange. it almost sounds like a dream! you are a good neighbor though. ps, did you go to your new ward Sunday? we missed seeing you guys and having jeff play with will. still come play softball on saturday!
Alicia said…
why didn't you tell me that story the other night? That's crazy!
Rebecka said…
You're the best story teller ever! I was laughing out loud about your predicament.

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