You Are The New Day

What? I have a blog?  Hello world.  Don't worry, despite all my promises and commitments, I'll most likely forget tomorrow that this blog is here and it will retreat back into the dusty recesses of the internet.  But today I have lots of thoughts that were spurred by this song:

It would be putting it lightly to say that the last two and a half years have rocked my world.  I've lived in 4 different countries, I now communicate in a language that I didn't know two years ago, and I have started to come into my own as a feminist.  It has been a renaissance time for me as I think I am finally ready to enter the adult world without the kicking and screaming.  I feel like I am standing at the dawn after a long sleep and it is crazy, scary and amazing.  I rejoice at the opportunity to look at the world in a new way as I slowly (and often painfully) let go of unhealthy traditions, heal traditions and thoughts that can be salvaged and learn that every day is a decision.  A decision to love (because it might be your last) a decision to stand for what you believe in (because if you don't, who will?) and a decision to be kind and honest and true because it feels good and not because of any rule/law/consequence that I may have learned.

I am grateful for being thrust into this new world with the help other people's courage and trailblazing.  I'm grateful that no matter what someone says, or who says it, I get to think about what is said, research it if I like and choose to believe it or not.  I'm grateful for changing perspectives and new knowledge and that this waking up has made me less afraid.  I am less afraid of the unknown because it is either the infinite mystery there for me to contemplate, search and respect or it is a fact that can be known and therefore no longer an unknown terror.  And how incredible that those two are not so easily categorized.

The pain comes when this new world means a departure from the old one.  Perhaps I don't have to say goodbye to people, but I have to identify myself as who I am, who I want to be and perhaps that changes what other people think of me or how they feel about me.  That in itself is a sometimes painful process.  But one I am grateful for.  I look forward to each new day, with it's beauty and pain, joy and tragedy bringing me opportunities for increased authenticity and hope that at least some of the time I can deepen relationships with those around me.

Comments

Pam Baumeister said…
Go Amy! Great to see you back to blogging and working out your thoughts and feelings here. Love the song, too. :)
Rob said…
Hey Amy! Catching up on my Kyle blog. Backwards. I think its cool that you've an an enlightenment. Me too. Lots of them, actually. My shoulders are relaxed, for example. I often wonder how many lights I could have powered with the energy I wasted on unnecessarily engaged shoulder muscles.

I sometimes worry when I hear the word 'feminist'. It's like the word 'conservative' or 'liberal'. What form does your feminism take? Please tell me I can still make 'Gaston jokes' in your presence. He is my role model after all...

I've been having lots of conversations with my girl friend Chrissy about such things. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts. Neither Chrissy or I are very well traveled (or cultured) like you. Perspective is nice.

I guess you probably can't respond here. robertbkevan@gmail.com if you like.

Peace Sista!

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