Potty training, a failed attempt

I really, truly balked at writing this post.  Remember, all those mothers out there, when you first found out you were pregnant for the first time and all you got were birth horror stories (I pushed for 45 hours just to give birth to an alien! etc.) Or when you got engaged and the predominant response was "Well, you're happy now, but wait 15/20/25 years when you can't stand the sight of each other".  Ugh.  No one wants to hear that they are about to fail.  No matter how much of a fools errand it may be, no one wants to hear "it's never going to work, or if it does, it's going to suck".
That's pretty much what I got when I told a few people (and Facebook - my mistake!) that I had decided to train the Bean to do his business in the excepted receptacle.  Sigh.  I really tried to think it through, go through all the checklists to see if he was ready, and to do it right.  The truth is, we couldn't really have known whether he was ready or not until we went through it with him (he passed the check list with flying colors).  Turns out, he's not ready.  Even though he had a blast going pants-less for 2 days.
Hold on to your hats, I'm about to get preachy.
Ahem. No one that is full of hope and promise at the verge of a new experience wants to hear someone else's horrible experience.  No matter how heartfelt and well meaning it may be, it still smacks of: "I failed/struggled so you have to, too."Come on!  I may blow it, but don't blow it for me!  Let me have the pleasure of succeeding or failing without expecting to fail.   But having had this experience, I will add potty training to the list of life experiences to which I will always respond: "Good luck!  It is a great thing, I hope everything goes well, if you ever want to talk about it I'm here" to whomever I find in the midst of it.  Any additional information will be more words of encouragement and books/websites I found helpful in making good choices and positive experiences I've had in that same vein.  Honestly, wouldn't responding positively be much better then drawing a bleak picture of the road that lies ahead?  Sheesh.
Now I will officially step off my soap-box.


Josie said…
Amy, this made me think of another blog post I found when I was first pregnant:


It really is hard to have so many people telling you how hard/awful something is going to be, especially when you're already nervous about it! It's a good reminder to always try and be the positive voice that people hear.
The Kyles said…
Thanks Josie. I'm not just saying it, but giving birth is awesome. It definitely does NOT have to be scary. So if you ever want to talk about it, I'd be happy to tell you how amazing, beautiful and TOTALLY worth every second that it was.
Kate's Kingdom said…
You are so right! I admit to being one of those you described; albeit EVERY experience is different and this one has many factors that make it so. Wishing you well whenever the need comes to try again.
Rob said…
Sadie potty trained herself in 2-3 days. She had maybe 2 accidents in the following weeks (including night times!). She was amazing!

Zac on the other hand took a bit more work, but I don't think he qualifies as a nightmare.

Though I brag shamelessly, The bulk of the work and credit goes to Lindsey. Hurray for good moms!
Alicia said…
potty training sucks. that's all there is to it. I count those with Henry as some of my deepest darkest moments. I'm trying with Alice right. wish me luck. just for the record- Henry is a pro now. It will eventually happen. I never thought it would. I pictured him in diapers until he was...um 16? sorry to be one of those offering doom and gloom on this subject before you tried with the Bean.

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