Humphrey Bogart

If I could have any pet I wanted, and I could guarantee that they could be house-trained, and that Green Peace would be ok with it, and of course the animal was agreeable to domesticity; it would be a penguin. Now this would also mean I'd have to live next to a pond ( I don't want the penguin to feel denied in any way).  But considering all of these factors serendipitously came together, well, I'd have a penguin as a pet, and I'd name him Humphrey Bogart.  And when he got old enough for a companion I would get him a lovely female penguin which I would name, of course, Lauren Bacall.